


Not Your Average Pennywise

by eeyore9990



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M, coulrophopia, really wtf coulson?, seriously wtf?, steve has a totally reasonable fear, tony's a hero dammit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-12
Updated: 2012-05-12
Packaged: 2017-11-05 05:57:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/403164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eeyore9990/pseuds/eeyore9990
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve has a bit of a phobia. But it's just a little one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Your Average Pennywise

Tony and Steve were sitting on the couch at Headquarters, Tony attempting to show Steve how to successfully bowl a 300 on the Wii, when Steve looked up and screamed.

It wasn't a manly yell or a shout of surprise. The scream he let out shattered three glasses in the room it was so piercing.

"Getitaway-getitaway-getitaway!" Steve shrieked, bodily yanking Tony out of his seat and using him as a human shield while he climbed onto the back of the couch and then dropped to the floor behind it.

Tony looked around, confused, until he noticed someone standing in the doorway. Or something? It looked like your average, run-of-the-mill clown but, as far as Tony knew, it could very well be the next super-villain come to kill them all. 

He instinctively raised his hand, then realized with some dismay that the most frightening thing about that was the Wii remote in it. As it was his only option, he threw it. The remote quickly reached the end of the wrist strap and rebounded, smacking his funny bone with the exact amount of force necessary to make him hop around, elbow in hand, hissing "Son of a _bitch_ " through clenched teeth.

Something flew through the air from behind Tony, and he turned mid-hop to see Steve ripping the wooden frame of the couch apart and hurling the pieces willy-nilly over the back of the couch in the direction of the clown. Vaulting over the couch onto the side with Steve—and out of the line of fire—Tony leaned over and asked, "Do you know who that is?"

Steve, his face grim and pale, just kept ripping and cracking. "C-c-c… It's a cl—" Steve shook his head wildly.

"A clown?" Tony offered helpfully, only to watch in surprise—and the tiniest bit of dawning humor—as Steve shuddered and flinched at the word.

Steve nodded, and only stopped destroying the couch when Tony grabbed his hands. Gripping Steve's chin with his thumb and forefinger, Tony nudged it up until Steve was looking into his eyes. The very real terror he saw there killed the one-liner that had been building behind his lips. 

"You stay here," Tony whispered. "I'll get rid of it. Okay?"

Steve grabbed at Tony instinctively. "No! No, you don't have to—"

"It's all right. It can't hurt me. It has no power here." That was quite possibly the cheesiest line he'd ever uttered, but it seemed to do the trick. Steve, still twitching occasionally, reluctantly let Tony go and slumped down behind the fragments of the couch.

"I'll be right back," Tony assured him before peeking over the top of the couch. 

The clown was still there, thumping a rubber chicken against his leg. Something about that wide-spread stance and the nonchalant way it stood there spoke of familiarity with the room. And there were only a handful of people on earth who'd ever seen this room, which meant that the clown posed no danger to Tony or Steve.

Stepping around the couch, Tony walked across the room until he was close enough to see the faint smudges that disturbed the blue circles around the clown's eyes. The clown was almost exactly his height, which reduced the number of people he could be to three; eye color narrowed it further. 

"Agent?" Tony asked and waited for the clown to speak. Both Clint and Agent Coulson could technically be called Agent, so Tony only had to wait to hear the voice to know which man he was speaking with.

"I've told you before, Mr Stark," Agent Coulson said, "to call me Phil."

Tony nodded and gestured to the costume and makeup. "I wasn't entirely sure it was you. Barton's eyes are almost the exact color of yours."

Coulson tilted his head to one side then said, "Not quite. Mine are slightly darker."

"I did say 'almost.'" Gesturing to the door, Tony said, "Do you mind if I steal you away for a moment? There's something I need your advice with."

After Tony closed the door behind them, he leaned against it with a sigh and said, "Don't ever fucking come here dressed like that again."

"I understand Captain Rogers suffers from coulrophobia—"

"And he doesn't like clowns, either," Tony interrupted, an edge to his voice. "He's _terrified_. If our enemies find out what clowns do to him—"

"Don't worry, Mr Stark. I won't repeat tonight's mistake. My niece only turns seven once, after all."

Tony blinked, then decided it wasn't _that_ farfetched for Coulson to be human enough to have a family outside of SHIELD. After all, the man was wearing clown shoes, a rainbow wig, shiny red nose, and pancake makeup. 

And he was carrying a rubber chicken.

"Go clean up," Tony said. "Don't come back until you're wearing another of those ridiculously off-the-rack Walmart suits you seem to prefer."

"Men's Warehouse."

"Whatever. Just go. I have some patching up to do."

* * *

"Hey beautiful," Tony said, kneeling on what had once been the cushions of the couch and peering over to see Steve huddled in a ball on the floor. "It's gone."

"Gone?" Steve mumbled, not looking up.

"Yep. I banished it from this realm for you."

Steve started to lift his head, only to duck down again. "It's not on Asgard is it? I just… we have to go there to bring Thor back…"

"Nope. It's gone for good. Come on up here. I need a hug. That thing was scary as shit."

Tony expected Steve to balk at the idea of giving him a hug, but less than a second later, his arms were overflowing with Steve. They sat together on the couch, not quite as comfortable as they'd been less than thirty minutes before, but infinitely closer—and not just in the physical sense.

As Tony held Steve and stroked his hair through the tremors that still wracked his frame, he began to mentally work up schematics for a device that would seek out and eliminate the fear centers in the brain. Then he gathered Steve closer and reconsidered.

Maybe it was all right for a superhero to have one irrational fear. Especially if the end result was a night of cuddling on the remains of a couch's cushions.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the kink meme. And tripperfunster, because she's completely made of awesome.


End file.
